24 Dreaming
Right now, stags are plotting to go out and get drunk with a precious anteater. My soup spoon is brightly-glowing, and flip-flops that I work with may be Russian.

I'm Federal Agent Jack Bauer, and this is the bubbliest omelette of my life.

By Kevan in 2002, also to blame for the Surrealist Link
For greater coherence, try 24ever
Previously on 24...